29 Apr 07 Nicole Teaches Mommy Another Lesson

What began as a regular visit to the food co-op today ended in the latest in a lifetime of lessons I’ll learn as a mother. We left Marley and Ncole in the co-op’s child care while we shopped. I leave Nicole there almost twice weekly when I’m shopping or working, and give the child care workers the same spiel about how she can’t go in the exersaucer, where they would normally put kids her age, because of her low muscle tone.

When I returned from shopping, a rather blunt child care worker immediately launched into a rant about how Nicole is too vulnerable to be left in child care. It seems she needed to be held the whole time so the bigger kids, who were throwing things around, wouldn’t hurt her. Carrying her for 20 minutes is a pain, I agree, but I did ask twice before I left if they could handle having a baby there (sometimes there are just too many kids and they say no).

I was insulted by the worker’s brash approach and felt Nicole was being dicriminated against because she isn’t able to do the same things other 9-month-olds can do. I’m determined to not allow her limitations to change how I will treat her, and I want her to experience all the normal things, like sometimes being separated from me and socializing with other kids.

You may not agree the worker was being discrimnatory. Obviously, I feel she was, but that’s sort of beside the point. The lesson I learned isn’t about about how Nicole will face much discrimination in her lifetime, but rather it’s about how I must learn to deal with it positively and teach my kids to deal with it that way, too. I fumed all the way home, then took a couple of deep breaths and decided to not let it ruin my day. It didn’t seem to bother Nicole, so I’ll try to take my cue from her.